Last year, Maddi Granger gave birth to her twin daughters nine weeks early and suffered a massive postpartum haemorrhage that almost landed her in the ICU.
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Four days later, she walked out of the hospital to go home, leaving behind her brand new babies, Violet and Lily, in the NICU.
"I didn't have any kind of sort of any social work support or anyone come and check that I was okay before I left," she said.
"All the physical stuff was checked but no one actually checked in on my mental health and I had to leave my brand new 31 week born twins in hospital an hour and a half from home."
For seven weeks, she commuted between her home in Thirlmere and the Royal Prince Alfred Hospital in Sydney, feeling in limbo having given birth but not having her babies with her.
"It wasn't until three weeks after we brought them home when my postnatal anxiety and depression hit and I really recognised that I was struggling," she said.
"It was a culmination of everything that I probably should have felt and dealt with while they were in NICU special care, combined with the sleep deprivation.
"At 3am one morning when I was up breastfeeding and I had a self harm thought and I went hold on something's not right here."
Luckily, Ms Granger flagged her feelings with a community health nurse and she was referred to a social worker, who then put her into touch with the Gidget Foundation for counselling.
"That helped me deal with the emotions I was feeling and everything that was related to my postnatal anxiety and depression," she said.
The Gidget Foundation says many new parents are at risk of falling through the cracks with new data showing that around one third of parents reported that their emotional wellbeing was not screened after giving birth.
The foundation says nearly all (99.8%) Australian mothers received routine antenatal care during pregnancy, but that there remains "a concerning gap" in the type of assessments offered.
It said physical assessments, blood tests and genetic screening were prioritised over mental wellbeing.
Ms Granger said she experienced this herself and wanted to see support in the hospital after birth in terms of mental health.
"One in five mums and one in 10 dads end up with postnatal depression or anxiety, and maternal suicide is actually the leading cause of death among expectant and new mothers which is terrifying," she said.
"I wish I had someone to help me with navigating NICU and having preemie babies, and my feelings about having been discharged four days afterwards leaving them behind."
"And also someone to talk to that specialises in perinatal mental health early on to go, 'hey, what you're feeling?'
"I needed to know that baby blues are normal, but also where is the line between what's normal and what is perinatal depression and anxiety."
Now that her twins are approaching their first birthday, Ms Granger still sees her counsellor to speak about new anxieties - like starting daycare.
"You're solely responsible for these two little people for so long and you've got to entrust them to someone else," she said.
"So it's having a support system out there, and I wish that more people were aware of it."
She said she would advise other mothers to not be afraid to speak up about their feelings.
"No one is ever going to look at you and go 'don't be silly'," she said.
"I spent time thinking, 'oh, people have got it worse than me', but it's not a competition - if you think you need help, reach out."
Kate McIlwain
For more than a decade, I've helped the Illawarra Mercury set the news agenda across the region. Currently I'm the paper's health reporter - covering the stories of Illawarra workers and residents in the wake of a global pandemic and at a time where our health systems are stretched to the limit.
For more than a decade, I've helped the Illawarra Mercury set the news agenda across the region. Currently I'm the paper's health reporter - covering the stories of Illawarra workers and residents in the wake of a global pandemic and at a time where our health systems are stretched to the limit.
